Monday, October 13, 2008

Your double flesh from carcass of brutalized animal with cheese is ready. Please pull up to the window

If only there were a law requiring restaurants to be a little more descriptive about their menu items.

"Can I take your order?"
"Yeah, gimme a bacon double cheeseburger."
"That would be two gouged out chunks of seared flesh from the carcass of a steer that was jammed into a train car filled with starving, terrified animals and taken to the place where he was shackled, bolt stunned, hoisted upside-down and had his throat cut while he was still living, topped with plump, juicy tomatoes, two strips of flesh from a pig that was similarly brutalized and a slice of real American cheese that came from a cow injected with hormones than slaughtered the moment her milk production became less efficient, all on a toasted bun.  Please pull up to the window."