Sunday, October 12, 2008

The troubles of the king

The king has bad dreams at night.  Animals screaming.  Blood.  The king doesn't like feeling bad.  He likes feeling good.  Does the king creep you out?  He creeps himself out too.  The king manipulates people into buying his things but the king is fine with that.  It's those dreams.  The king doesn't like those dreams.  The king doesn't want to know what happens at factory farms.  PETA sent the king a nasty letter.  The king doesn't like nasty letters.  He likes cool letters.  From cool people who eat his food.  The nasty letter accused Burger King of not agreeing to abide by McDonald's animal welfare guidelines.  Animal welfare guidelines?  McConald's?  The king knows irony when he sees it.  The king is ironic himself.  That's how the king gets people to buy his things.  By being ironic.  And cool.  But now the king has dreams.  Bad ones.  And he doesn't know what to do about it.