Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sunday football tailgating parties

You can't watch a Sunday football game on TV without them at some point cutting to the obligatory shot of pre-game tailgaters while John Madden orgiastically salivates over the seared, fat-dripping globs of meat and tells us when bratwurst is cooking up on the grill, all is right with the world.  I wish just once they'd find a group of vegan tailgaters cooking up boca burgers and veggie does, tofurkey beerbrats and kielbasa.  John Madden would be struck dumb.  The network would field furious calls from attorneys representing the pork council, Jimmy Dean would cancel their advertising buy and lot of viewers would think the long-awaited apocalypse had finally arrived.  But what if they did find some vegan tailgaters and the announcers said something like, "Check out that tofurkey foot long veggie dog.   Mmm, I wish I were down there with those folks."  "You have the foot long veggie dog, me, I'm gong for the Boca burger.  In fact, make it two."  "You've got plenty of room for two."  "Alright, folks, enjoy the game and keep eating vegan, you're saving a lot of animals' lives."  "Right you are, Bob, if everyone stopped consuming animal products, do you know how much less suffering there'd be in the world?"  That would be a pretty cool tailgating party to see.