-- Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order?
-- Yeah, I'd like a McChicken sandwich, please. And can I get mine slaughtered with gas?
-- Sorry, sir, that's not on our menu.
-- How do you slaughter them?
-- We dump them out of their crates and hang them upside-down in metal shackles then we cut their throats.
-- I prefer my chicken gassed. It's called controlled atmosphere killing. It's a much more pleasant death.
-- You're from PETA aren't you?
-- Yeah.
-- You guys are protesting against us again?
-- I know, it's been a while. Nine years since our last one. This time we're demanding that you slaughter your chickens with gas. We're calling it our McCruetly campaign.
-- That's what you called that last protest.
-- Just like old times, huh? You guys will cave in the end, you know.
-- I know. Then you'll give us lots of praise for doing the right thing. Sales really go through the roof when that happens. Hey, I got a question for you. I heard if the gas isn't administered properly, the chickens go berserk, shaking their heads around, gasping for air. I hear it's a really excruciating death.
-- That would suck.
-- So shouldn't you guys be encouraging people to stop eating chicken instead? Then the chickens wouldn't get shackled and have their throats slit and they wouldn't get gassed either.
-- What would we dress up as in our protests? A piece of tempeh? There aren't any good vegan costumes.
-- I see your point.
-- 'kay sorry to sound ornery, but I'm really craving a chicken sandwich here. Can you maybe make me up a special order? Gas it out back or something.
-- Sorry, sir, I could check with the manager, but I don't think we have slaughtering capabilities on premises.
-- Look, dude, I'm really hungry. But I'm not ordering a chicken that wasn't slaughtered humanely.
-- We still follow the humane slaughtering procedures for steer.
-- You mean from our last McCruelty campaign?
-- Yeah.
-- Cool. Gimme a Big Mac.
-- Please drive through.
