Monday, September 26, 2011

Dairy cow checks out the menu of Ben & Jerry’s flavors.

Let’s see…

Stun Bolt Berry Blast
Slaughtermint Swirl
Rape Rack Raspberry

...hey, someone replaced the real Ben & Jerry’s flavors with this subversive crap.  Where’s the message about happy cows on a first name basis with their local farmers?  Someone scratched it out and wrote how us happy Ben & Jerry’s dairy cows have our calves yanked away and shipped off to veal farms.  We’re artificially impregnated, our calves are taken again.  Four years and our milk production slows.  We’re no longer economically viable so it's time for the slaughterhouse.  Lies!  Slander! I’m happy.  Look at the way they drew me with all these happy bright colors.  They had to.  They couldn’t show the photo of the real me because then people would know the truth … Huh?  Now I’m sounding subversive, too.  What's going on? Ben & Jerry made me part of the team.  They gave me the opportunity to help people enjoy delicious Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. They provided my calves with veal crates. And I turn on them like this? What’s wrong with me? … Hold on, my farmer who’s on a first name basis is calling me.  What?  I’m not efficient enough anymore?   Time for what? At least I’ll get to live on on the Ben & Jerry’s website, helping tell people about their Caring Dairy program.