Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Whole Foods must use a really small type size.

The title of the post in the Whole Foods blog says, “Let’s respect farm animals.” But then they switch to a smaller type size for the asterisk that says, “until we kill them and eat them.” So small I can't even see it. But that asterisk has to be there somewhere, doesn't it? Unless Whole Foods is trying to make the point that slaughtering and eating someone is a new way of showing them respect.

Now the type gets nice and big again.

Our meat and poultry standards at Whole Foods ... take into account the comfort, physical safety and health of the animals.

Then the asterisk at the end of the above sentence says, "This may appear at first to be counter-intuitive since shattering skulls with stun bolts, shackle hoisting upside-down, slicing necks, etc. would seem to some to adversely affect the comfort, physical safety and health of animals. But what you’re missing here is our shoppers want to feel good about themselves and their planet citizenship. Nothing ruins a good steak dinner faster than a conscience nagging you about how the animal suffered in order to become the flesh you're so happily chewing. Our shoppers want to delude themselves into thinking the animals they eat lived happy joyful lives right up until the moment they became meat. At first we tried telling them a happy meat fairy waved her wand and turned the animals into meat, but even our shoppers weren’t falling for that one. So we came up with this elaborate fantasy about happy, well cared for animals, grazing in the fields, living in the sunshine, and guess what, our shoppers bought it. If we can help our shoppers accept this wild story by repeating things like 'let's respect farm animals,' and 'we care about the comfort, safety and health of animals,' it means more money for us. Get it? Good. Now get out of our face."

I can't quite make out that asterisk, the type's so small, but it's got to be there somewhere.