Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pet sitter sentenced to probation for over-feeding potbellied pig

A Minnesota pet sitter accused of animal abuse for letting a potbellied pig triple her weight was fined $1,000 and sentenced to a year of probation.  So how could the pet sitter have avoided the animal cruelty charges?  Simple.  Confine the pig in a cage too small for her to turn around in, shoot a captive stun bolt into her brain, then while the stunned pig is still blinking and struggling, dunk her in a tank of scalding water to loosen her hide for skinning.  After the  flesh of the finally-dead pig is carved off her carcass, invite the sentencing judge over for a nice pork chop dinner.  Not only will you avoid charges of animal cruelty, you'll receive lavish praise for your cooking skills and, if you're lucky, maybe even a reciprocating dinner invitation at the judge's house.