Saturday, October 15, 2011

Dinner with Trina and Mike, compassionate carnivores

TRINA:  There's an exciting movement out there.
MIKE:  Bigger than organic, bigger than buying local.
TRINA:  Compassionate people concerned about the suffering of farm animals. 
MIKE: Factory farms are hell on earth.  The manifesto of the compassionate carnivore is we reduce animal suffering by only buying our meat from family farms. 
TINA:  Some cynical people out there say to us, if we're so concerned about animal suffering, why don't we stop eating them?  Mike, why don't you set these cynics straight.
MIKE: The thwing aboo compashwon is it’s a tfo we seet.
TRINA: Sorry, it’s hard to understand Mike when he’s got a mouthful of meat.  He said the thing about compassion is it’s a two way street.
MIKE: We’re compassionate to the animals so they need to show us a little compassion in return.
TRINA: The way they do this is by letting us eat them.
MIKE: Believe me, we have so much appreciation for the compassion these kind animals show us. Yummy juicy juicy meat.
TRINA: It’s one big, harmonious circle of compassion.
MIKE: Chew, chomp, yum, chewy, juicy.
TRINA: Mmm, yum, pink, juicy fleshy yummy meat
MIKE: Compassion is all about empathy. Relating to the needs of someone other than yourself.  When these poor farm animals live in a dark crate in a factory farm, it’s like I’m living in a dark crate.
TRINA: You are so compassionate, Mike.
MIKE: So are you, Trina. Yummy delicious flesh.
TRINA: Mmmmm! Chewy, delicious, juicy flesh.
MIKE: We empathize with the animals by not wanting them to suffer more than necessary.
TRINA: And they empathize with us by understanding how much pleasure it gives us to eat their flesh. Mmm, so rare, so pink
MIKE: Delicious blood running down my chin
TRINA:  Put down the napkin, Let me lick it up, oh, tasty, heavenly blood
MIKE: Lick it up, lick it up.