tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71462022441640137732024-03-14T01:52:28.371-07:00Reformed fast food mascotUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger145125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-24630942980253273852012-07-05T20:58:00.000-07:002012-07-06T08:16:34.248-07:00Animal Welfare-Approved July 4th recipes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xkHs4JsY_ZY/T_Zhhwx9uTI/AAAAAAAAAdA/ZvZ3nioMmdc/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-07-05+at+8.49.38+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xkHs4JsY_ZY/T_Zhhwx9uTI/AAAAAAAAAdA/ZvZ3nioMmdc/s1600/Screen+Shot+2012-07-05+at+8.49.38+PM.png" /></a></div>
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“The Animal Welfare-Approved standards
are the most rigorous and progressive animal welfare requirements in the nation
… that benefit farmers, consumers and animals alike.”<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p> </o:p></span>The farmers get to charge a premium. The
consumers get to tell themselves they’re concerned about animal suffering without
giving up the taste of their flesh. And the animals? They get their skulls
shattered and throats slit, which at first glance doesn’t seem like much of a
benefit, but maybe that’s just ungrateful quibbling, especially when Animal-welfare
approved got into the spirit of the holidays by offering us <a href="http://www.animalwelfareapproved.org/2012/07/03/environmentally-sound-recipes-for-the-fourth-of-july/">Fourth of July recipes</a> in their blog.</div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Five recipes from an organization
that exists to reduce animal suffering. Must be plenty of delicious meals
that don’t require slaughtering them and carving up their carcass. Let’s see…Gourmet
mushroom onion burger. Sausage Dip. Crab and goat cheese
pizza. Roast chicken. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Maybe that's how they protect the
welfare of the animals – by offering different recipes requiring the flesh of a
different species. They protect the welfare of cattle by offering a sausage
recipe, which reduces the number of cattle slaughtered by increasing the number
of pigs slaughtered. They protect the welfare of pigs by offering the roast
chicken recipe which reduces the number of pigs slaughtered by increasing the
number of chicken slaughtered. And so
on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">But these recipes do seem kind of
incomplete. As protectors of animal welfare, they shouldn’t leave out so many steps. Let’s put back what they left
out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Directions for Animal Welfare-Approved,
Reduced-Suffering gourmet mushroom onion burgers<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Ingredients:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">One living, breathing steer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">One stun bolt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">One friendly animal-welfare approved
farmer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">One animal welfare-approved stun bolt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Directions:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Place steer in holding pen (pat on head
and coo at him to ease his terror)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Shatter his skull with bolt from stun
bolt gun (kindly, now, kindly)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Hang cattle upside down (very gently) and
place on processing line. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Sever carotid artery with knife. (Be sure
to slice with heartfelt compassion)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Remove hide with down puller (Again, be
gentle, he might still be clinging to life)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Chill carcass then cut into pieces<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Combine all ingredients and form into
patties<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Pour glasses of cab for everyone and
toast your compassion as you enjoy your animal-welfare approved, reduced-suffering Gourmet mushroom onion burgers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-6295988616027128542011-12-30T08:50:00.000-08:002011-12-30T14:17:20.742-08:00The slavery analogy<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">My friend sent me a Mark Bitman article in the NYT about semi-veganism. He asked what I thought even though he already knew. There’s no such thing as semi-veganism or a part-time vegan.</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">You going to use the slavery analogy again? he asked.</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">People don’t like the slavery analogy. It offends them. The Atlantic Monthly <a href="http://unpopularveganessays.blogspot.com/2011/12/banned-from-atlantic-monthly.html">bans commenters</a> for using it. Maybe it’s because people don’t want what they consider a second or third-tier sin likened to the greatest sin in America’s history. But that’s not why my friend doesn’t like the analogy. He doesn’t like it because it divides people into two groups – those who support the enslavement and slaughter of non-human animals and those who renounce it. My friend wants there to be a group somewhere in the middle, where you can sympathize with the plight of animals and do what you can to reduce their suffering but still eat them from time to time.</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">The slavery analogy works so well because it’s so stark. If a slaveholder claims to oppose slavery, he must free his slaves. If he adds a few links of chain to the shackles so the slave has more room to roam, he does not oppose slavery. If he vows to whip his slaves less frequently, he does not oppose slavery. People who talk about part-time veganism, bigger cages, free range, grass fed, Michael Pollan, humane slaughter, etc etc etc want to oppose slavery without freeing their slaves. And that’s simply not possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-87874121128453047482011-12-26T11:08:00.000-08:002011-12-26T11:25:46.758-08:00Big Ag wants a piece of the grass fed action and Animal Welfare Approved isn’t happy about it.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DX7vTAphMxs/TvjE1jH_gMI/AAAAAAAAAck/RqYyVCBe3EY/s1600/Picture+5.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DX7vTAphMxs/TvjE1jH_gMI/AAAAAAAAAck/RqYyVCBe3EY/s1600/Picture+5.png" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">We’ve seen it a million times in movies. A new dealer moves into an established dealer’s territory and the war is on.</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Animal Welfare Approved owns a sweet chunk of the grass fed market. Users are willing to pay good money for the illusion the animals they eat didn’t suffer, and the Animal Welfare Approved label is the highest quality shit, the Kona Gold of humane certification labels.</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Animal Welfare Approved does have rival dealers like Certified Humane, but they’ve carved out different territories and learned to co-exist. But now someone else wants a piece of the action. Big Ag.</span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq">As the public interest in ethically produced (sic) food continues to flourish … it is perhaps inevitable that food businesses jump on the grassfed bandwagon.</blockquote><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">This isn’t some rogue animal welfare advocate. The food industry has big money behind it. Doesn’t mean animal welfare approved is just going to roll over. Drug dealers protect their teritory with guns. Animal Welfare Approved opts for an 18-page Grass fed primer.</span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq">While the range of products, labels and brands that make the grassfed claim grows by the day, the sad reality is … some of the so-called grassfed systems out there actually fall well short of our expectations.</blockquote><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">In other words, this is our fucking territory, motherfuckers. You come here start pedaling your grass fed shit there’s going to be a fucking war, man. </span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">Don’t know how this war is going to play out, but it won’t be pretty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-44594842474132277192011-12-20T21:41:00.000-08:002011-12-26T11:05:31.761-08:00More gift ideas: Old MacDonald had a before-and-after farm.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rfREAxQWYbQ/TvFvycbHcbI/AAAAAAAAAbw/1KncBMB3M18/s1600/Picture+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rfREAxQWYbQ/TvFvycbHcbI/AAAAAAAAAbw/1KncBMB3M18/s200/Picture+3.png" width="200" /></a></div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QclJgL9GYok/TvGBPpObi6I/AAAAAAAAAcA/2NR4gCq2weU/s1600/Picture+4+22-05-30.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QclJgL9GYok/TvGBPpObi6I/AAAAAAAAAcA/2NR4gCq2weU/s200/Picture+4+22-05-30.png" width="200" /></a></div>The sunshine. The green grass. The happy mooing, bleating, clucking animals. The happy farmer and the happy farmer's wife. The stun bolt gun. The dip scalding machine. The skin peeler. The slab conveyor. It's all here in the Old MacDonald had a before-and-after farm animal figurine set.<br />
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<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Cow, goat, chicken & lamb figurines in carcass and pre-carcass form</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Additional figurines available for purchase:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> Family farmer who names then slaughters animals<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> Whole Foods buyer<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"> Compassionate carnivore picnickers and accessories</span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';">*Certified Humane labels not included<o:p></o:p></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-42113899511759963802011-12-18T07:37:00.000-08:002011-12-18T14:33:25.524-08:00More gift ideas: Michael Pollan hypocrisy-isolating headphones<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0w9g1d20eL0/Tu4FzshsdRI/AAAAAAAAAbY/5KbFPLCpKGE/s1600/Picture+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0w9g1d20eL0/Tu4FzshsdRI/AAAAAAAAAbY/5KbFPLCpKGE/s1600/Picture+2.png" /></a></div><br />
State-of-the-art headphones designed exclusively for listening to Michael Pollan audio books. Two separate channels for crystal clear playback of Michael Pollan talking out of both sides of his mouth. One channel plays his profound sympathy for the plight of farm animals, the other channel his drooling accounts of watching animals get slaughtered.<br />
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<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Channel one:</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p> </o:p></span></div><blockquote class="tr_bq">The lives of billions of animals on American feedlots and factory farms are horrible to contemplate, an affront to our image of ourselves as humane.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Channel two:</div><blockquote class="tr_bq">Mike and I drove to the ranch to choose our animal and watch the itinerant butcher slaughter and dress it … Mike cuts a few slivers from the loin and passes them around; a ceremonial tasting of the uncooked animal is, he explains, a butcher’s privilege.</blockquote><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Channel one: </div><blockquote class="tr_bq">Broiler chickens spend their lives in cages too small to ever stretch a wing. Every natural instinct is thwarted, leading to a range of behavioral vices that include canablizing her cage mates and rubbing her body against the mesh until it is featherless and bleeding.</blockquote><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Channel two: </div><blockquote class="tr_bq">Melissa … has a sure hand with the hacksaw and the butcher knife; within 20 minutes the goat is transformed into considerably more appetizing cuts of meat: the baron, or hindquarters, and the saddle … two racks of ribs (for tomorrow’s lunch); the shoulders (destined for an overnight braise) and the scraps…</blockquote><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p>Contradiction-canceling technology reduces ambient hypocrisy by 87.4%</o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><o:p>Comes in heifer black and white</o:p></span></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-5762548950186517602011-12-16T08:42:00.000-08:002011-12-16T20:02:48.042-08:00What to get the person who’s killed everything?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-24xRu-GsPNI/TutmkONSotI/AAAAAAAAAbI/DBr-T3JdMwA/s1600/Picture+7.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-24xRu-GsPNI/TutmkONSotI/AAAAAAAAAbI/DBr-T3JdMwA/s320/Picture+7.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0in;">DING DONG<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0in;">Who’s there?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0in;">It’s Tom from the slaughterhouse.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-indent: 0in;">Come on in, Tom, and don’t forget to wipe your boots on our new Meritech Welcome Mat.</div><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The Meritech Hog Killer's Welcome Mat</span></b><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"></span></b>Here’s a gift idea for that special pig slaughterer in your life. The folks at Hormel and Smithfield slaughter thousands per hour without the slightest twinge of remorse, but that doesn’t mean they want entrail stains on their brand new carpet.<br />
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Conventional welcome mats clean grass blades and clumps of dirt. They don’t stand a chance against boots caked with pig innards. But the Meritech Welcome Mat is manufactured using 12 guage 304 stainless steel, so it cleans the soles, sides and tops of your guests' boots.<br />
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Those stubborn, wriggling pigs don't want to die right away and that can really dirty up a nice pair of boots. Fortunately, the Meritech welcome mat utilizes a series of horizontal brushes to effectively clean and sanitize so chunks of ground-in flesh on your wooden floor is a thing of the past.<br />
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If you’ve got pig slaughterers on your holiday guest list, make sure to replace your old welcome mat with the new Meritech Welcome Mat. Janice K of Bayard, Iowa did.<br />
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“It’s been one party after another. Friends from Smithfield, Hormel, Jimmy Dean. Our living room was starting to resemble a slaughterhouse. That’s when we decided to get rid of our old straw welcome mat and replace it with one from Meritech. Now our guests don’t leave trails of offal to the kitchen and I couldn’t be happier.”<br />
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<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"> -- Janice K, Bayard, Iowa</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-54537696158051452102011-12-14T21:03:00.000-08:002011-12-15T15:51:16.411-08:00Swirls<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">A feral cat lived across the alley from my apartment. I called her Swirls because the golden part of her fur curled into patterns like the inside of a shell. She'd sun herself on the roof and watch a world that hadn't done her any favors.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">I flattered myself that just as I knew Swirls’ routines, she knew mine. When the sun lights up my roof, he comes out to his balcony with his coffee, she’d think.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">At five she'd cross the alley to the apartment of the person who fed her. At ten past five, she'd re-cross the alley to curl up alone in the dark.<br />
Alone -- but that’s me projecting one of my human frailties on her.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Solitude was no enemy to Swirls.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">She had another enemy, though she had no way of knowing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Apparently her transgressions became too much for someone in the apartment building.</div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">What were these transgressions? <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Her food attracted raccoons. </div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">She left paw prints on cars in the carport.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Freshly washed cars.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">And for that, someone decided to poison Swirls’ food.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">Her death was slow, I’m told.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">The person who feeds her found her in the alley.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">She lasted the car ride to the vet’s.<br />
<div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Nothing will happen, of course.<o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Pets are property. Which makes Swirls something less than property.</div></div></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">She was born in the alley, the only survivor of a litter.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">She dodged the cars, outsmarted the coyotes.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">We feared the coyotes would get her eventually.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">But they were merely predators. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;">The driver who didn’t want smudges on his car, the building manager who wanted to please his tenant, Swirls never had a chance against that.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoBodyTextIndent" style="text-indent: 0in;"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-50504802035409341872011-12-10T09:11:00.000-08:002011-12-10T09:11:47.636-08:00How to keep consuming animal products without giving up your progressive credentials.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gE9nZwJR1Yg/TuOQs3y6g7I/AAAAAAAAAaQ/rFFafbQRs_I/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="155" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gE9nZwJR1Yg/TuOQs3y6g7I/AAAAAAAAAaQ/rFFafbQRs_I/s200/Picture+1.png" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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All you need is a good rationalization. Here's an example: The world's not ready to give up meat. If I were to stop consuming animal products, I'd implicitly be saying my behavior is morally superior to those who do. That's elitism and there's nothing more repellant to the progressive sensibility than elitism. By continuing to consume animal products like everyone else, I'm declaring my solidarity with the rest of the world and only through solidarity can we affect change.<br />
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Here’s another one:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The history of social movements proves change can only come gradually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I were to stop consuming animal products all at once, I’d be violating this most basic truth. Justice takes time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Today, I’ll shake my head solemnly at what the poor creature I’m eating had to endure before it wound up on my fork. Tomorrow I’ll sign petitions giving them a few extra feet of cage space and someday in the hopefully not too distant future I’ll stop eating them.<br />
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Gradual change also works better for the animals. Animals are creatures of habit. Sudden change to their routine can upset their equilibrium. To go from the horrific treatment of factory farms to not being slaughtered at all would be too big a shock to the system of these poor creatures. They need a transitional phase, half way between factory farms and freedom, where we continue to slaughter them but do it in a more humane way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After they’ve grown accustomed to this more humane slaughter, only then will be they be prepared for the next step of emancipation.<br />
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Those are just few examples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if you’re deeply, passionately concerned about the plight of farm animals, but you don’t want to give up the delicious taste of their flesh, don’t worry, there’s so many rationalizations out there. You’re sure to find one that works for you.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">The Whole Foods Farm Animal Welfare <a href="http://www.globalanimalpartnership.org/for-consumers/farm-animal-welfare/">site</a> begins…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">"The numbers are astonishing..."<o:p></o:p></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><o:p> </o:p>… consider this: in the time it takes to watch a 60-minute television show, 5.8 million chickens are slaughtered for meat. That’s more than 97,000 per minute ... Each one can suffer.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">So Whole Foods created their 5-step Animal Welfare Rating System, which enables them to charge a premium for “humanely raised” meat.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And the <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/07/27/us-wholefoods-idUSTRE76Q6EU20110727">numbers</a> are astonishing.<o:p></o:p></div><blockquote class="tr_bq">Whole Foods Markets quarterly profit rose a larger than expected 35 percent and it raised its full-year profit forecast, fueled by robust sales and snatching market share from other supermarkets.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Whole Foods executives have a deep understanding of the mindset of their self-styled progressive shoppers:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We don’t want animals to suffer, and more importantly, we don’t want to suffer pangs of guilt while we're eating our dinner. We’ll gladly pay extra if you convince us the flesh we’re eating came from a carefree animal who lived a blissful life right up to the moment he was slaughtered with tenderness and compassion. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yes, Whole Foods will be more than happy to convince their shoppers of this.<o:p></o:p></div><blockquote class="tr_bq">By choosing to support higher welfare farmers and ranchers, we can collectively make a significant difference in the lives of billions of animals.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>But for shareholders who need reassurance this isn’t some wooly-headed animal rights thing...</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><blockquote class="tr_bq"><o:p> </o:p>Higher animal welfare standards are increasingly seen to be a pre-requisite to enhancing business efficiency and profitability...</blockquote><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-39902932969868094042011-12-03T09:58:00.000-08:002011-12-03T10:15:44.566-08:00Certified Humane. Improving animals’ lives by slaughtering them.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TPnK372BqwI/TtpevBbly0I/AAAAAAAAAaA/pQg_fxc8zfA/s1600/Picture+4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TPnK372BqwI/TtpevBbly0I/AAAAAAAAAaA/pQg_fxc8zfA/s1600/Picture+4.png" /></a></div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0KO3nQzmqX4/Ttpeslwi0eI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/thZTnYo8d38/s1600/Picture+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0KO3nQzmqX4/Ttpeslwi0eI/AAAAAAAAAZ4/thZTnYo8d38/s1600/Picture+3.png" /></a><br />
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Pretty impressive. And how are they able to improve these 25 million lives each year? By slaughtering the past year’s 25 million. They’re then able to improve the lives of 25 million new animals. Slaughter them and improve the lives of another 25 million. And so on. What do these improved lives consist of? “Chickens are able to flap their wings and dust bathe” before their necks are sliced open. “Pigs have the space to move around and root” before their brains are pierced by a stun bolt.<br />
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The improved life part is accurate, no arguing with that. But it’s not the 25 million animals whose lives are improved. It’s the meat producers who get to charge a premium for Certified Humane products. It’s the compassionate carnivores who like thinking they’re concerned about animal suffering and want to eat those animals without feeling guilty.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">Certified Humane. The best way to help farm animals.</blockquote>The people at American Heritage and Webster’s would know best, but I’ve got to believe this is the first time the word “help” has been used as a synonym for "slaughter" and the word "best" has been used as a synonym for "worst."<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-67687710649627863222011-11-24T17:53:00.000-08:002011-11-24T18:07:09.569-08:00Thanksgiving football games<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BRwF0V_Rfas/Ts70SbqCQdI/AAAAAAAAAZw/_B9khMMXbqI/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BRwF0V_Rfas/Ts70SbqCQdI/AAAAAAAAAZw/_B9khMMXbqI/s200/Picture+1.png" width="200" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">At least five or six times during the Thanksgiving Day football games, they cut to a shot of the cramped cages of a turkey farm. Sometimes this image provides the backdrop as the announcers give their misty-eyed tribute to friends and family and troops stationed overseas who can’t make it home for the holidays. Other times one of the announcers will use the image of soon-to-be-slaughtered turkeys as the inspiration for a Thanksgiving-themed quip, often something simple as, “gobble gobble.” Then the announcer’s partner in the booth, and presumably the millions watching from their tables and sofas, chuckle along in goodwill and merriment. This isn’t some new feature for this year’s games. They’ve cut to these same shots every year – hundreds of frantic turkeys piled on top of each other, unable to move. The football game producers even boost the volume, like they do with commercials, so the viewer gets the full audio effect of the turkeys screeching in fear. Why do these soon-to-be-slaughtered turkeys have such appeal to the producers? Does terror and imminent death somehow enhance the Thanksgiving day experience for their viewers? You’d think people might want to forget their juicy meat in front of them was very recently a living, breathing creature. But apparently not. Apparently seeing animals about to have their necks sliced open so people can enjoy a tasty meal makes Thanksgiving that much more festive.<o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-36783226194299422422011-10-29T06:59:00.000-07:002011-10-29T08:43:00.141-07:00A new system of taxonomy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ke3ad1uPmec/TqwFcQMB1PI/AAAAAAAAAZg/ORa4D8JxjPI/s1600/Picture+4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ke3ad1uPmec/TqwFcQMB1PI/AAAAAAAAAZg/ORa4D8JxjPI/s200/Picture+4.png" width="175" /></a></div><br />
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Taxonomy is the science of classifying organisms. Animals are divided into the smaller, more recognizable groups phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Another way we could classify animals is by the various ways humans abuse them. Most would fit into one of following phylum: Poisoned by humans. Clubbed by humans. Captured by humans. Caged by humans. Shackle-hoisted and stun bolted by humans. Hunted by humans. Consumed by humans, though this category would of course overlap with the captured, caged, shackle-hoisted and stun-bolted categories. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Each of the above phylum can be divided into smaller classes.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Poisoned by human can be divided into the sub-categories, poisoned for human comfort and vanity, i.e. cosmetic testing, and poisoned because humans find their presence annoying (e.g., rodents). Hunted by humans can be divided into the sub-categories, hunted for pleasure, hunted for money, hunted out of fear. Caged by humans can be divided into the sub-categories, caged for viewing pleasure and caged for consumption. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Consumed by humans is of course the largest phylum, comprised of billions of farm animals each year. But there’s hardly an animal on the planet that doesn't suffer some form of abuse, usually culminating in torture and death, at the hands of humans. Taxonomists would have to burn the midnight oil getting them all straight.<o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-89950009285603022012011-10-23T00:11:00.000-07:002011-10-23T10:42:07.620-07:00Slaughtered with dignity. Consumed with gratitude.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6R9h7cYD5pg/TqO2511g2yI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/N8EXl0QKrcc/s1600/Picture+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6R9h7cYD5pg/TqO2511g2yI/AAAAAAAAAZQ/N8EXl0QKrcc/s320/Picture+3.png" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<blockquote>The animals grazed placidly, majestically, almost pre-historically…</blockquote>The more an author rhapsodizes over a grazing animal, the more certain you can be the author will soon be eating that animal for dinner.<br />
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This author <a href="http://www.culinate.com/mix/dinner_guest/saying_no_thanks_to_meat_thats_not_humanely_raised">is describing</a> a buffalo hunt he witnessed. Like many compassionate carnivores, he takes great pride in his willingness to “see where his meat came from.” He records the “harvesting” of the buffalo with a weeping pen. He talks about the other buffalo bowing their heads in grief.<br />
<blockquote>I felt the ache of witnessing death. I wasn’t alone in my sadness. As the rancher knelt over the buffalo and hoisted it by chains with the bucket of a loader, the rest of the herd drew in close and lowered their heads. The sight of animals mourning … humbled me to my carnivorous core.</blockquote>Does "the ache of witnessing death" inspire the author to consider giving up meat? No, it inspires him to get out his thesaurus and use up every word listed under honor and dignity.<br />
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“I slit the animals’s throat because I was fucking craving a big juicy steak” sounds way too profane, so the compassionate carnivore dresses things up with the noblest human impulses.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">In Michael Pollan’s 36-hour dinner party “Mike wants to ‘honor the goat’ by wasting as little of it as possible."<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Then there’s Katherine Friend’s letter to the lamb.<o:p></o:p></div><blockquote>Tomorrow morning when we load you onto the trailer for your trip to the abattoir, we will be thinking about the life you’ve lived on this farm – running around the pasture at dusk, sleeping in the sun and grazing enthusiastically for the tenderest bit of grass. We will say aloud, "thank you."</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>The compassionate carnivores are always thanking and praising and honoring the animals they kill, as if the animal knew how hungry they were and, in a moment of selflessness, decided to offer up its flesh. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">By making the act of slaughter more than mere slaughter, by transforming it into something ceremonial, the compassionate carnivore is able to convince himself that subjecting animals to the most gruesome fate imaginable is a morally praiseworthy act.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-45906425190848530482011-10-18T22:06:00.000-07:002011-10-18T22:06:33.400-07:00Conscientious, Compassionate, Cash-earning Carnivores.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gi52D5Ab9Gg/Tp5ZCF5JF5I/AAAAAAAAAZI/76BCIfgQeqY/s1600/Picture+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gi52D5Ab9Gg/Tp5ZCF5JF5I/AAAAAAAAAZI/76BCIfgQeqY/s1600/Picture+3.png" /></a></div><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-thKRgV-OIH8/Tp5Y7eZJ2PI/AAAAAAAAAZA/64YPCXQolEI/s1600/Picture+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="186" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-thKRgV-OIH8/Tp5Y7eZJ2PI/AAAAAAAAAZA/64YPCXQolEI/s200/Picture+2.png" width="200" /></a><br />
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Let’s see we’ve got Conscientious Carnivores and Compassionate Carnivores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So don’t want to offend, you know, but it’s hard to keep the two of them straight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They both shed crocodile tears over the plight of farm animals and chatter endlessly about their personal conflictedness as they chow down on the remains of said animals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there must be differences. Is it like belts in martial arts? Does a conscientious carnivore work his way up to becoming a compassionate carnivore?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who gets first dibs on the shank?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe the compassionate carnivores came first and the conscientious carnivores were an offshoot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had doctrinal differences, split off like the Lutherans. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe it was a naked power-grabbing move.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The conscientious carnivores were sick and tired of being in the shadows while the author of Conscientious Carnivores, Catherine Friend (as in with friends like this animals don’t need enemies), was out doing the talk show circuit, getting reviewed by the NYT, hobnobbing with Michael Pollan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Michael Pollan could tell them both there’s plenty of money to be made off all those hungry progressives out there, salivating for a juicy steak and a good rationalization.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why don’t the two of you join me? Michael Pollan would say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All three of us can be Cash-earning Carnvivores.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: There's an exciting movement out there.<br />
MIKE: Bigger than organic, bigger than buying local.<br />
TRINA: Compassionate people concerned about the suffering of farm animals. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: Factory farms are hell on earth. The manifesto of the compassionate carnivore is we reduce animal suffering by only buying our meat from family farms. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TINA: Some cynical people out there say to us, if we're so concerned about animal suffering, why don't we stop eating them? Mike, why don't you set these cynics straight.</div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: The thwing aboo compashwon is it’s a tfo we seet.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: Sorry, it’s hard to understand Mike when he’s got a mouthful of meat. He said the thing about compassion is it’s a two way street.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: We’re compassionate to the animals so they need to show us a little compassion in return. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: The way they do this is by letting us eat them.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><o:p></o:p></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: Believe me, we have so much appreciation for the compassion these kind animals show us. <o:p></o:p>Yummy juicy juicy meat.</div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: It’s one big, harmonious circle of compassion.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: Chew, chomp, yum, chewy, juicy.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: Mmm, yum, pink, juicy fleshy yummy meat<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: Compassion is all about empathy. Relating to the needs of someone other than yourself. When these poor farm animals live in a dark crate in a factory farm, it’s like I’m living in a dark crate.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: You are so compassionate, Mike.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: So are you, Trina. Yummy delicious flesh.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: Mmmmm! Chewy, delicious, juicy flesh.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: We empathize with the animals by not wanting them to suffer more than necessary.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: And they empathize with us by understanding how much pleasure it gives us to eat their flesh. Mmm, so rare, so pink<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: Delicious blood running down my chin<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">TRINA: Put down the napkin, Let me lick it up, oh, tasty, heavenly blood<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">MIKE: Lick it up, lick it up.<o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-85118631545436160312011-10-13T06:27:00.000-07:002011-10-13T07:41:57.703-07:00All slaughter systems must protect against distress or discomfort<div class="MsoNormal">For a meat producer to earn the Certified Humane label…</div><blockquote>All slaughter systems must be designed to ensure livestock are not caused unnecessary distress or discomfort.</blockquote>We know a shattered skull and pierced brain don’t constitute unnecessary distress or discomfort to the folks at Certified Humane. Maybe they mean stepping on the steer’s hoof or something. <br />
<blockquote>It is required that producers use processors who follow the American Meat Institute guidelines for processing cattle.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>These guidelines were developed by PETA <a href="http://reformedmascot.blogspot.com/2010/12/give-it-up-for-peta-proggy-award.html">Proggy Award-winning</a> slaughterhouse designer and <a href="http://reformedmascot.blogspot.com/2009/01/temple-grandin-versus-ronald-mcdonald.html">McDonald’s consultant</a>, Temple Grandin.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Her “Interpretation of the American Meat Institute Animal Handling Guide” details what animal producers must do to pass a welfare audit. Here’s a sample from the FAQ section. (If the question is frequently asked, safe to say it describes a frequently occurring event.)</div><blockquote>Question 12. A plant employee starts to skin the head of an animal that has blinking eyes. Is the audit failed?</blockquote><blockquote>[Temple Grandin’s] Answer: This is an automatic audit failure. The guideline states, there is zero tolerance for beginning any procedure like skinning the head or leg removal on any animal that shows signs of return to sensibility … Animals with eyes that do spontaneous natural blinking are sensible.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">She has zero tolerance for head-skinning and leg removal of still-sensible animals. No wonder PETA awarded her the Proggy for innovative and animal-friendly achievements.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But for those meat producers who worry Temple Grandin’s being unfairly rigid, relax, here’s another FAQ.</div><blockquote>Question 11. A pig squeals when it is half way into the restrainer or stun box due to an electric prod. Does this count on the vocalization score? [A high vocalization score can result in audit failure.]</blockquote><blockquote>Answer: No. The pig’s rear must be past the restrainer entrance to count.</blockquote><div class="MsoNormal">Pig squealing in horror is only half way in the stun box. Audit passed. Certified Humane.<o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-49393978690515718742011-10-10T09:08:00.000-07:002011-10-10T10:26:16.622-07:00Certified Humane. Because Certified Insane was already taken.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BixWksorXXQ/TpMX4naNxbI/AAAAAAAAAYk/11moAXfzhD4/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BixWksorXXQ/TpMX4naNxbI/AAAAAAAAAYk/11moAXfzhD4/s200/Picture+1.png" width="200" /></a></div><br />
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They didn’t settle on the name Certified Humane right away. The first and most obvious choice was Certified Insane. It was much more descriptive of the people they hoped to appeal to: people who, without the aid of psychotropic drugs, had such highly developed self-delusional powers they could convince themselves shackle hoisting and a brain-piercing captive stun bolt is “the best way to help farm animals.” But Certified Insane was overused. They wanted something more distinctive. So they went with Certified Humane instead.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-53379413060422662402011-10-08T00:28:00.000-07:002011-10-08T08:31:36.610-07:00Animal Welfare Approved vs. Certified Humane. The new McDonald’s vs. Burger King.<div class="MsoNormal">The humane certification market is exploding. In co-ops and natural food stores across the country, compassionate carnivores are searching for the tastiest conscience-easing meats. This means big opportunity for humane certification labels but also fierce competition.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So who are the big players best poised to reap the bounty of the compassionate carnivores? An analogy is helpful. Animal Welfare Approved is McDonald’s. Certified Humane is Burger King. There’s also the Global Animal Partnership, though they don’t yet have the cachet of the big boys. They’re more of a Jack in the Box or Sonic – a regional upstart but not one to take to take lightly.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Certified Humane has come out swinging. “Don’t be fooled by similar sounding programs,” they say on their site. “Certified Humane is the best way you can help animals.” Animal Welfare Approved plays it more like McDonald’s -- above the fray. They don’t deign to acknowledge, and thereby legitimize, the competition. They stick to more quietly confident statements like, “Continuously ranked as the most stringent of all third party certifiers.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This calm arrogance must drive Certified Humane nuts. They want to attack!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">They should heed the examples of their compatriots in other highly competitive industries. There’s a long history of commercials slamming the Other Guy. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">They could try a side-by-side compassion test, similar to the Pepsi Challenge. Stop progressive carnivores in the compassionately killed meat section. Hide the label. Ask the progressive to sample the meat and guess which one has more compassionate pre-slaughter standards.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Or they could copy the classic Folger’s coffee commercials. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We’ve secretly replaced this Animal Welfare Approved steak with a Certified Humane steak. Let’s see if people notice.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Hi, Sir, how’s the steak?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Delicious. And best of all it was slaughtered with compassion.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Did the steer suffer?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">No. Animal Welfare Approved means animals get to “perform natural and instinctive behaviors.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Surprise! You’re really eating a Certified Humane steak.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">You’re kidding.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Can you sense that extra pre-slaughter compassion? See, only Certified Humane guarantees that all animals are “kept in conditions that allow for freedom of movement” before they’re shackle hoisted and stun bolted.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I had no idea<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">So what humane label are you going to buy from now on, Sir?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m going to buy Certified Humane!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-73213034481768187972011-10-05T00:10:00.000-07:002011-10-05T00:23:07.453-07:00Proof that humanely raised and slaughtered animals are much better off.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WgpgfNocNx8/TowFkHxnyhI/AAAAAAAAAYM/WkApAsV_Px4/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="98" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WgpgfNocNx8/TowFkHxnyhI/AAAAAAAAAYM/WkApAsV_Px4/s400/Picture+1.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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You’re looking at what’s left of four steers. Three came from a factory farm. One was fortunate enough to be humanely raised and slaughtered by a compassionate family farmer. As you can see, it was much better off than the other three. You can’t see? Then you’re not looking closely enough. Look at the three on the right from the factory farm. Three living, breathing, sentient beings who craved life as much as any person, now nothing but slabs of flesh scraped off a carcass. Compare them to the fortunate humanely raised and slaughtered steer on the left. Now you see the difference, right? No? Then you’re just being stubborn. There’s an enormous difference. Otherwise the Animal Welfare Institute and Humane Farming Association wouldn’t give it their seals of approval. This is getting frustrating. Look again. Okay? Yes? You finally see one is much better off? About time. Wait, you think the one who’s better off isn’t the steer, but rather the person who gets to enjoy a juicy burger without pangs of guilt? Wrong again. Wrong and so deeply cynical. Will you please look at the humanely raised and slaughtered steer on the left. Or is it the right? Or one of two middle ones? Now you’re getting me confused. The point is, the free range, humanely raised and slaughtered steer had it much much better and the proof is right in front of you. How can you not see it?<br />
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I can’t believe they picked me for the header of the Animal Welfare Approved site. Now I can rest assured when I’m all chopped up and wrapped in cellophane and sitting in the refrigerated section of Whole Foods, there’s going to be an Animal Welfare Approved sticker on the other side of that cellophane. That means the Animal Welfare Institute sent an inspection team to the farm to make sure turkeys like me have the opportunity to “perform natural and instinctive behaviors” before the humans perform their natural and instinctive behavior and slit our throats. I know, I know, I look so serious in this photo. You can’t tell I’m bursting with pride. Most of my fellow turkeys only get to fill human bellies. But I get to do so much more. I get to give humans a delicious meal and on top of that I get to make them feel a nice warm glow when they tell themselves my slaughter was pleasurable and painless. What more could a turkey ask for?<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-21906456207656593522011-10-01T00:12:00.000-07:002011-10-01T11:34:39.765-07:00Does Michael Pollan belong in the Meat Industry Hall of Fame?<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sFS8_Zrq5dg/Toa7_lneioI/AAAAAAAAAYA/BsV6AyfZjpw/s1600/Picture+2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sFS8_Zrq5dg/Toa7_lneioI/AAAAAAAAAYA/BsV6AyfZjpw/s320/Picture+2.png" width="320" /></a><br />
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The 2010 class is pictured above. What about this year’s class? Does Michael Pollan have a chance? Purists will scoff. He doesn’t have the big numbers like, say, a Hormel executive who slaughters millions of pigs a year. And what about Michael Pollan’s scathing indictment of factory farms? The true greats of animal slaughter don’t have qualms about what they’re doing. Hormel executives don’t know what to make of the public outrage over videos documenting sadistic cruelty at supplier farms. But this is exactly why Michael Pollan belongs in the hall of fame. He does understand that outrage and also the guilt some people feel for continuing to eat meat, and he showed the meat industry how to use this guilt to increase sales in his best-selling book, The Omnivore’s Dilemma. The dilemma in a nutshell is people feel bad about eating food that perpetuates the atrocities in factory farms. But, damn, meat tastes good. The solution: eat meat from farms where you can convince yourself the animals lived carefree pre-slaughter lives. Michael Pollan has made conflicted meat eaters feel good about eating meat and for that he deserves to be in the hall of fame. To use a sports analogy, just as Yao Ming brought millions of Chinese fans to NBA basketball, Michael Pollan has made countless self-styled progressives realize they can profess concern about the suffering of animals and still eat those animals. I say he’d better get busy writing his induction speech.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-85403194801388622262011-09-29T09:06:00.000-07:002011-09-29T19:53:57.174-07:00Why family farms name their animals<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fobx9dQe4-g/ToSVC3rOwzI/AAAAAAAAAX0/0ZIw0UUndwA/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fobx9dQe4-g/ToSVC3rOwzI/AAAAAAAAAX0/0ZIw0UUndwA/s1600/Picture+1.png" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">“…we’re on first name terms with our cows and their farmers through our sustainable dairy farming program”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“Family farmers give animals such a better life because they use the personal touch like naming them..”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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Retailers like Ben & Jerry’s that use Family farm suppliers are always going on about how family farmers name their animals, as if having a name somehow makes getting slaughtered less painless.<br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Why exactly did the family farms decide to name their animals in the first place…</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That dairy cow’s not producing like she used to, get rid of her -- Which one? -- The black and white one -- They’re all black and white -- The one with the patch on her back -- They all have patches on their back --The one, fuck I don’t know how to describe her, they all look the same -- Hey, I know, why don’t we give ‘em names? -- Fucking A, that way we can tell the slaughter boys which one to kill and it’ll make our progressive customers think we treat these cows just like family members …. Hey, that dairy cow’s not producing like before, get rid of her -- Which one? -- Wilco -- Come here, Wilco, Wilco...<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">More on family farms naming animals <a href="http://reformedmascot.blogspot.com/2009/04/group-photo-at-local-family-farm.html">here.</a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-31938520046622880402011-09-26T12:30:00.000-07:002011-09-26T17:33:37.760-07:00Dairy cow checks out the menu of Ben & Jerry’s flavors.<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zctYO1mCT0Y/ToDRJk26xaI/AAAAAAAAAXs/8eufKyG_zJ4/s1600/Picture+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="390" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zctYO1mCT0Y/ToDRJk26xaI/AAAAAAAAAXs/8eufKyG_zJ4/s400/Picture+3.png" width="400" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Let’s see…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Stun Bolt Berry Blast<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Slaughtermint Swirl<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Rape Rack Raspberry<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">...hey, someone replaced the real Ben & Jerry’s flavors with this subversive crap. Where’s the message about happy cows on a first name basis with their local farmers? Someone scratched it out and wrote how us happy Ben & Jerry’s dairy cows have our calves yanked away and shipped off to veal farms. We’re artificially impregnated, our calves are taken again. Four years and our milk production slows. We’re no longer economically viable so it's time for the slaughterhouse. Lies! Slander! I’m happy. Look at the way they drew me with all these happy bright colors. They had to. They couldn’t show the photo of the real me because then people would know the truth … Huh? Now I’m sounding subversive, too. What's going on? Ben & Jerry made me part of the team. They gave me the opportunity to help people enjoy delicious Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. They provided my calves with veal crates. And I turn on them like this? What’s wrong with me? … Hold on, my farmer who’s on a first name basis is calling me. What? I’m not efficient enough anymore? Time for what? At least I’ll get to live on on the Ben & Jerry’s website, helping tell people about their Caring Dairy program.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-47290767908842731052011-09-23T00:06:00.000-07:002011-09-24T18:27:38.398-07:00The Progressive Meat Pounder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZfcSPy-jiwE/TnwvXayolVI/AAAAAAAAAXo/Yo1FVOF6Crg/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZfcSPy-jiwE/TnwvXayolVI/AAAAAAAAAXo/Yo1FVOF6Crg/s400/Picture+1.png" width="400" /></a></div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">Meat producers are thrilled to have discovered a lucrative new target group: people who want to ease the suffering of animals without giving up the delicious taste of their flesh. They fear the torture and slaughter of the animals they consume might be incompatible with their progressive self-image, so they’re willing to pay premium prices for the illusion that these animals lived happy, pain-free lives. Meat producers and their retailers have come up with innovative ways of appealing to these prized customers. The Whole Foods five step Animal Welfare Rating Standards, Animal-Welfare Approved, Certified Humane Raised & Handled, etc. etc. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The meat producers are so intent on appealing to this progressive target group, they’ve apparently even branded their meat-related accessories as “progressive,” e.g. the progressive meat pounder (pictured).<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Other progressive kitchen products include…<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The progressive matching knife set and rationalization set. “Free range animals live happy lives.” “It’s a step in the right direction.” “The slaughter is quick and painless.” Store these and all your other rationalizations in one spot for quick and easy access.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">“World’s Greatest Self-deluding Chef” apron. Ideal for barbequing up those animal welfare approved ribs.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The progressive mixed messaging bowl. You want to end animal suffering now. But you’re craving a juicy steak. Say what? The mixed messaging bowl is the ideal way to mix these messages to confuse yourself and others so you can crave justice and that juicy steak without relinquishing your progressive credentials.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Check out the entire catalogue of progressive products. <o:p></o:p></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7146202244164013773.post-66000289931974190152011-09-21T00:27:00.000-07:002011-09-21T16:38:02.955-07:00The Whole Foods grass fed beef disses on the Burger King Whopper.<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>GRASS FED:</b> I pity you. Raised on some factory farm while I was out in grassy fields.</div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>WHOPPER:</b> You’re a piece of charred flesh now, just like me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>GRASS FED</b>: It’s every grass fed steer’s dream to someday make it to the refrigerated section of Whole Foods with an Animal Welfare-Approved label on the package. And I did it! I was purchased by compassionate people who turned me into Pepper Steak with pomegranate sauce. You? You get wrapped in paper and stuck under a heat lamp ‘til you get scarfed down by a carload of hungry frat dudes who couldn’t care less about your pain and suffering.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>WHOPPER</b>: We were both killed way before our time. We’re both going to be eaten.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>GRASS FED</b>: I’ll be savored with a glass of chardonnay. You’ll be washed down with 32 oz. coke.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>WHOPPER</b>: What I’m saying is...<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>GRASS FED</b>: Not interested in what some low life from the 99 cent super value menu has to say. I’m grass fed, Animal Welfare Approved. I was purchased by a progressive couple who cared deeply about my well being. You should have heard the two of them discussing how good they felt that I got to graze on the grass...<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>WHOPPER</b>: ..before the farmer dragged you into the slaughterhouse and shattered your skull with a captive bolt.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>GRASS FED</b>: Must you be so crass?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>WHOPPER</b>: The first bolt missed your brain. You were writhing on the ground before he got the second bolt to work.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>GRASS FED:</b> Thankfully, the compassionate couple who purchased me aren’t around to hear this. It would spoil the meal they worked so hard to prepare.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>WHOPPER</b>: If your progressive Whole Foods shoppers are so concerned about your suffering, why don’t they stop eating meat?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><b>GRASS FED</b>: You think you're so smart with your brain teasers and unanswerable riddles. Go to your frat boys, your Walmart deal hunters. I'm going to be eaten by refined people who want us steer to get slaughtered ethically and compassionately and you don't even have the gratitude to appreciate it.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com